Did you wake up this morning and step into a story that’s too small for you?
That story you tell yourself about who you are, what’s expected of you, what you can do and what you can’t, what you’re good at and what you’re not so good at, what you can have and what you can’t, who loves you and who doesn’t, what’s possible for you and what isn’t.
I’m not talking about your life story. Like, where you were born, where you went to school, when you got married, the dog you adopted, the trip you took in May. Though your life experiences certainly contribute mightily to your internal story.
The story I’m talking about is the one you tell yourself about yourself.
For instance… you may have an internal story that includes beliefs such as:
“I’m not good at math. I can’t carry a tune. I have a good eye for color and design. I intuitively know what people need after listening to them talk for about 10 minutes. I can’t make more than 5-figures in my business. I’m not as qualified as other entrepreneurs in my field. I make a mean roasted chicken. I’m always late.” And on and on and on.
We all have our internal story that we’ve crafted, adapted and set in stone to some degree. Every day, we wake up and bam! We’re in our story. And thank goodness! Otherwise we’d have to constantly recreate our self-image and our reality every single moment.
But there are times when your story is too small for your desires, your vision and the “you” you’re becoming. It can pinch and pull you back when you feel inspired to go for something new, big and beyond your past experience. It can use your own voice (and the voices of some influential people in your past) to talk you out of going for what you really want.
For instance, let’s say get this idea to create a 5-day retreat in the Caribbean for 12 of your ideal clients. Your mind goes wild imagining the possibilities. You can see it happening, from the masterminding on the beach to the nighttime entertainment and yoga in the mornings. The full agenda of each day comes to you quickly, and you start to search the Internet for possible locations and travel packages.
But when it comes time to take action and commit to this new venture of yours, you start to think…
“Wow, I love this idea. But how am I going to get 12 women to invest the time and money to do this? I’ve never been any good at selling high-end packages, and this one’s a doozy! Plus, I’ve never led a 5-day retreat. I’m really not qualified. Maybe I should start with a weekend retreat. And the hotels that are available… what if I pick the wrong one? This isn’t going to work. And besides, I don’t even like traveling all that much….”
And there it is. Your internal story, hard at work, telling you who you are and who you’re not and why your new idea belongs in someone else’s plot line, not yours.
Then, in an effort to get clear about what you should do, you share your idea with your spouse, who innocently mirrors back all of your own story-induced doubts by saying, “Great idea, hon. But you’ve never been a great traveler. Why do this in the Caribbean? Can’t you just do it virtually? Besides, who will take care of the dog while your gone?”
This is how you know when your story is too small. When you feel inspired or even driven to make a change, take a leap, and make a move towards what’s calling you – whether it’s a new project or an entirely new business idea – and instead of going for it with gusto, you talk yourself out of it.
But here’s the good news.
That small story of yours? It’s really not a problem.
IF you realize… it’s just a flippin’ story!
One that you wrote. With a little help of some well-meaning but perhaps misguided people in your life.
So, my question to you is, are you ready to let go of the too-small story that keeps you locked in less than what you want?
Because, really, all it takes is a willingness to let go of the parts of your story that keep you from becoming more of you. You don’t have to let go of the whole story. Just the limiting beliefs and self-definitions that tell you “No” when really the answer is “Yes.” Those parts that squash your success, compromise your confidence and make you put up with less than what you want and less than you deserve.
WARNING: When you challenge your internal story by letting go of the parts that no longer serve you, the ground underneath your feet will get a bit slippery. You may feel disoriented. For days. And forget the simplest things. Like washing your face or brushing your teeth.
Because when you step out of your old, too-small story, you step into the “you” who are becoming rather than staying tucked in tight with the “you” you’ve always been. You jump out of the familiar and into a brand new chapter, one you’ve not yet written or rehearsed or memorized. And that can feel extremely scary. And very weird.
It’s okay though. Really. You’re just need some time to get your bearings, trust gravity and feel at home in your new story.
So, again, let me ask you, are you willing to let go of those parts of your story that keep you from saying “Yes” to what you really want?
Let me ask that in a different way. What limiting beliefs about yourself have to go in order for you to feel confident in your ability to have what you want?
What excuses, fears, or rationalizations do you keep bumping into whenever you feel the urge to create or do something new, change your path or take a new adventure that thrills you?
Write them in the comments section below. Together, we’ll acknowledge them, thank them and then send them back to where they belong. In your past.
Let’s create what’s next instead of recreating the same old story.
Extra special idea: Try letting go of your stories about other people as well. What story do you keep telling about your spouse, partner or friend? Can you stop telling that story? Just let it go, and let yourself see this person with new eyes and an open heart.