You’re at a party. You know most of the people there. And as you stand by the table with the sun-dried tomato hummus and pita chips, sipping your Chardonnay, the hostess of the party comes up to you. There’s a big, friendly looking man on her arm. “I want to introduce you to my cousin Fred. He’s in town for a couple of days on business, and I thought you two might have a lot in common.”
You shake Fred’s hand as the hostess walks away, and Fred, with a big smile on his face, starts talking to you. And talking to you. And talking to you. He doesn’t even stop long enough for you to squeak in an “uh, huh” or “or really?”
Deftly, he switches from one subject to the next, pulling out photos of his two kids, the family Chihuahua and the motor boat he bought last year so he could take his family water skiing. Then, without missing a beat, he immediately starts talking about his food allergies, how turtleneck sweaters are for losers and why Charlie Sheen is severely misunderstood.
You’re starting to sweat and slightly panic. How are you going to get away from this guy? Your mouth is sore from all the superficial smiling and your neck is tweaked from politely nodding, and there’s no end in sight. Fred is on a train ride that won’t stop to let anyone off.
Finally, you’ve got it! You accidently (on purpose) drop your glass of wine. “Oh, no! you exclaim. “How clumsy. I’ve got to go get something to clean this up.” And as Fred says, “Oh, I have a handkerchief right here. I can get this cleaned up in a jiffy…” you dash away into the kitchen where you let out a sigh of relief. And pour yourself another huge glass of wine. For the rest of the evening, you do everything in your power to avoid Fred. Which isn’t hard because he’s already found someone else to bludgeon with his endless, stream-of-conscious monologue.
Oh, that Fred! Nice guy but when it comes to making conversation, he just doesn’t know how!
Well, I hate to tell you this, but a lot of you are “pulling a Fred” when it comes to your use of social networking and marketing. Especially when it comes to Facebook and Twitter. You’re doing a great job of telling the world about what you’re doing. You’re posting links, photos, and the poster for your next event. You’re sharing YouTube videos and blog posts, updating your status, and letting the world know what you’re up to.
Good for you! You’re swimming in the sea of social networking now and staying afloat.
But social networking is about interaction. Conversation. And your social media conversation is more than a bit one-sided because… you’re not listening. You’re doing all the talking. Like Fred.
See, other people have something to say, too. And participating effectively on social media, or ANY social situation, means shutting up every now and then to listen to what others have to say. Better yet, inviting them to say something.
My ex-husband was a master at this. In most social situations, he would hang out with people and simply ask them questions. He would inspire them to talk, and he would listen. Really listen. Then respond to what he heard in a way that would inspire the other person to talk even more. Perhaps the fact he’s extremely hard of hearing helped him excel at this, but I don’t think so. He was always genuinely interested in that other person.
The best use of your time on social media is listening. Be aware of what’s up for others. Pay attention, even if it’s 5 minutes a day, and interact with people by responding to what they have to say or share. Comment on what your friends have shared or posted. Reply to or retweet those tweets you really like. Listen and respond.
Yes, it is important for you to share what’s up for you, from the serious to the silly. It’s important for you to show up as you and reveal what’s important, fun, amusing, etc. But that’s only one-half of the conversation. The other very important half is to listen and to what others have to say and let them know you’re listening by responding.
Now, the 100 % sincerity and integrity rule applies here, which is, only respond out of a genuine interest and desire to interact and make a contribution. Don’t do this just because you know you’re supposed to. Read what’s up with your friends, fans and followers and respond to what moves you, tickles you, helps you, inspires you, encourages you, amuses you.
So, yes, keep contributing by letting people know what’s up with you and sharing fun, valuable information, photos, videos, audios, and the like. But be sure to take a break from posting to listen. What are your Friends, Fans and Followers saying? Let them know that you’re listening by responding in some way that contributes to the conversation and even invites a response from them. This shows you’re not only listening, you’re asking for more of what they have to say.
Something Fred never learned to do.
Next week, I’m going to share one of my favorite things to do on Facebook! Don’t miss it! Subscribe to my RSS feed (over there… on the right… that little orange thingy) or become a fan of the Firecracker Facebook Page. There’s a party going on over there!