I’ve got a severe case of the “holiday happys” this year.
Every morning, I’m up before dawn, lighting candles, making tea and listening to my farovite Christmas music. The cats and I snuggle into my new furry white comforter as we watch the sun rise on another bone-chillingly cold but beautiful wintry day. And I fill my journal with words of deep appreciation for my life, my home, my friends, and this magical time of year.
A few weeks ago though, as I was singing along with the American Boy Choir and admiring my small but oh-so-charming Christmas tree, my soaring holiday spirit took a nosedive when I realized… gack! I still have to buy Christmas presents for my friends and family! What the heck am I going to get them?
Why is it the people I love the most in the world are the hardest to shop for at Christmas?
My ex-husband (who is one of my best friends) has everything he could possible want. Except retirement. And I can’t give that to him.
My 91-year old mother has never liked anything I’ve ever gotten her. Yet she would be hurt if I didn’t get her something.
And my best friend Michael, he’s a bit easier but still… I never know what to get him.
What do you give to the person who either already has everything they want or is so picky any gift you picked out would just be… wrong?
Well… the answer came to me in a Christmas epiphany one morning.
Words.
You give them your words.
Your full, honest, creative, whole-hearted expression of your appreciation, love and gratitude.
Rather than buy them something, write them something. Write them and tell them the truth about how you feel. Give them a hard copy of what they mean to you, why they are amazing, beautiful, extraordinary, and important. Pour out the love, awe, admiration and appreciation you have for them.
Pour it all into your words.
I speak to my ex almost every day. Sometimes twice a day. But I don’t tell him how much he means to me. I don’t go on and on about how much I appreciate his incredible genius, generosity, kindness and willingness to help others in any way he can. Or how I grateful I am that he is in my life.
When I visit my mother in California, she always asks me to tell her all the horrible things she did as a mother. I always refuse. But what if, instead, I told her all the things I love about her? All the things she did right?
And my best friend Michael… I often tell him how much I appreciate him and his friendship. But I’ve never written it all down. I’ve never detailed all the many things I admire and adore about him.
Why not give your straight-from-the-heart words this Christmas?
Believe me… it will be a gift your loved ones will never forget. One they will treasure every day of every year.
Besides… no one really needs another gadget, gizmo or wooly pair of socks. But everyone needs to know they are loved, seen, treasured and appreciated. Everyone wants to know that they matter.
To help you create your perfect holiday present of words, I’ve come up with a few easy yuletide ways to get started with your gift.
The 12 Ways of Christmas
You could also call this: The 12 Reasons You’re Da Bomb! or The 12 Ways You Light Up My Christmas (or Solstice or Hanukkah) or The 12 Ways You Move Me… or call it anything you want. I was just riffing on the “12 Days of Christmas” theme.
Write a list of the 12 ways your loved one lights up your life. What are the 12 things you appreciate the most about him or her. Feel free to combine the silly with the sublime. For example:
Way #1: You’re understand what I mean… even when I’m not saying anything.
Way #2: You know how to fold a fitted sheet so it lies flat. (How do you do that?)
The Dear Santa Letter
Write a letter to Santa that lists all the reasons your loved one should get everything he or she wants this season. You can simply make a list of reasons (like The 12 Ways list above). Or you can focus on one important challenge, event, or situation in which your loved one really shined and came through.
Dear Santa,
Did you notice? My friend Michael? He is a marvel! An amazing, kind, generous human being. Sure, he gets crabby every now and then. Especially when there’s traffic. But as a friend, he is the best. I can always rely on him to be there, to listen and love me on those days when I’m so flippin’ discouraged, I think I can’t go on. Quite honestly, I can’t conceive how I would have survived this past year without him…
A Holiday Memory
I will never forget the Christmas when my older sister, Diana, spontaneously wrote and sang a Christmas morning wake-up song for our younger brother Bob. I was maybe 7 or 8 years old and she was 11 or 12. She just pushed the record button on her compact reel-to-reel tape recorder, and started singing “Wake up! Bobby, wake up! It’s Christmas Day!” She continued to sing a fully-formed, rollicking song… without once pausing or missing a beat. And without one second of prep.
The result was this snappy little tune, full of rhyme and good cheer. Early Christmas morning, my sister and I went to our brother’s bedroom, pressed “play,” turned up the volume on the tape recorder, and my brother woke up to his very own Christmas song..
I remember every word, every note.
Do you have a special holiday memory with your loved one? Start writing that memory, sharing what you remember and why it was special to you. Then use it as a jumping off point to either share other memories or tell your loved one why he or she is so important to you.
It’s a Wonderful Life
In the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, the character George Baily (played by Jimmy Stewart) wishes he was never born. And then, with the help of Clarence, an angel-in-training, he gets to experience what life would be like for his family and his town if his wish were granted.
Tell your loved ones all the ways they make life wonderful.
Tell them all the ways they make a difference. In your life. In other’s lives.
Tell them why they matter.
Straight, No Chaser
You don’t have to use any cute, holiday-themed way to express your love and appreciation. Just open your heart and let the words spill all over the page in whatever way they choose to flow. Write what’s true… from your heart of hearts. Write pages. Write one paragraph. Write a sentence. Just make sure it expresses the love you feel.
A new iPhone will soon become outdated.
A gift card will be used and forgotten in a flash.
And wooly socks, while warm and useful, will wear out. Or get lost in the dryer.
But your words… your expression of love, admiration and appreciation will be treasured, remembered and re-read forever. When you write the truth of your heart, your words have magic in them.
Give your straight-from-the-heart words.
Express your love, full-out.
And have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday Season.