Do you ever stare at your Facebook feed and think… “I’ve got nothing to say”?
Do you feel the urge to participate in the social media scene but you can’t seem to get out there and do it consistently?
Or maybe you know you need to be more visible in order to get noticed for your expertise, but some part of you won’t stop squirming and resisting and whining, “But I don’t wanna!”
Hey, it’s okay. I know how you feel.
In fact, just last month I complained to one of my mentors that I knew I had to start being more visible and active on social media but I felt as if I didn’t have anything to say.
She told me, “Just decide and do it.”
I mentally stuck my tongue out at her. And then I did what she said.
To jumpstart my decision, I joined a 30-day video challenge, called the Light It Up! Video Challenge, led by Niamh Arthur. During this challenge, we were to create a short video every day based on the daily prompt given to us by Niamh (who is great at making video easy and unintimidating) then post it within the private Facebook Group.
Easy. In fact, too easy. I needed more of a challenge.
So, I decided to create videos based on whatever subject, thought, idea or silliness came to me that day. And post it publicly on my own Facebook Profile page. I gave myself permission to create and post a video about almost anything that blew through my mind. I also gave myself permission to not post a video every single day.
But I had to be as consistent as I possibly could. For 30 days.
And by gosh, by golly! Not only did I have a great time completing this challenge, I learned a ton.
For instance:
You DO have something to say.
Before I started this challenge, I was convinced I had nothing to say. At least, nothing I hadn’t shared before in a blog post or quick-tip video. But once I created and posted the first video of this challenge, I was suddenly flooded with ideas for the subsequent videos.
Ideas would come to me at all times of the day. I would jot them down on white 5×7 notecards. Or enter them into Evernote.
If you stop yourself from participating in social media because you feel you don’t have that much to say, you’re fooling yourself. You’ll be surprised by how much you’ve got to share. Once you start.
The key is to start. And to give yourself permission to share anything that’s on your mind or in your heart.
My friend and colleague Brigitte van Tuijl recently started blogging every day. 5 days a week. My initial response was, “What? How can she possibly find time or enough topics to DO that?”
Her answer here helped me during my video challenge.
You are having an impact. Even if you don’t think you are.
When I first started my video challenge, I didn’t get much engagement for the first week or so. My tried and true friends and fans would like the videos. Sometimes. And there may have been a stray comment or two.
But as I persevered and kept consistently posting videos every week, more and more people started liking them and leaving comments. Some of the videos even got shared.
Somewhere around Day 10 of the challenge, when I was starting to feel like the whole challenge was a stupid idea, I met a couple of friends for a drink at my favorite local hang, the Stockade Tavern. One of these friends asked me, “Hey, where was your video today?” I answered with, “Ah, I don’t think I’m going to do it any more.” To which she immediately responded, “Oh, yes you are! You said you were going to do it so you have to stick with it.”
As I continued to talk with her, I realized she’d been watching my videos every day. I just didn’t know because she never left a comment or a “like.” And one video in particular had a big impact on her. Who knew?
This taught me that even though you think your posts are being completely ignored, they aren’t. You are reaching people. People are listening, watching and reading. Even if they aren’t leaving evidence to that fact.
For maximum fun and best results, let go of the outcome.
Here is the cardinal rule for any kind of authentic self-expression: you can’t give a fig about what anyone else thinks. About you or your message or whatever you want to share.
I know. This can be hard. Because one of the reasons you’re even considering posting consistently on social media is to get visible and attract the right kind of attention, right? And let’s face it. We’re hard-wired to want people’s approval.
But I found that if I had any attachment to what people in Facebook Land thought of me or what I shared, it really messed with my mojo. I couldn’t complete the video I was working on. In fact, I resisted doing it all together.
As soon as I let go of the need to be brilliant, evocative or amusing, it became so much easier to be real, speak from the heart, and have a lot more fun.
Give yourself permission to say what you really have to say without being attached to how people will respond or whether anyone will like it. Once you do, you’ll not only open the floodgates to more content ideas, you will liberate your true, wild voice. You’ll have more fun!
Be you. Express what’s true for you for the sheer joy of expressing it. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Share what feels good to share. Without needing anyone to like it or even notice.
You may be misunderstood. And that’s okay.
During my challenge, I posted a silly video about how to win an argument. It was meant to be completely ridiculous because I told people the best way to win an argument was to get really loud and just keep talking.
What I failed to do was explicitly tell people that I was just kidding. See, I thought it was obvious that I was joking. But it wasn’t. Not even to my best friend who called me the next day to ask, “Uh… did you really mean what you said in that video?”
I was stunned. How could she possibly think that I would advise anyone to just get loud and keep talking as a way to win an argument?
But I realized, when you post something from a position of authority, people take you seriously. Unless you explicitly tell them you’re joking.
So, chances are good that if you deliver content with any regularity, and you say what’s important or meaningful or just plan silly to you, you may be misunderstood. The best you can do is strive to be clear. And if you’re being sarcastic or silly, you may need to tell people, “Hey, I’m only joking here!”
You never know whose life you’ll touch and make better.
I’ll never forget the day I posted one of my many videos and a woman I’d never met commented. All she said was, “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”
It felt so good to get that comment. To know my message actually had a positive impact on someone.
This is why it’s important for you to show up, speak your truth and share whatever is pressing on your heart or mind. You never know how your message, your presence, your intention will make someone’s day. Or week. Or year.
If it scares you, you better say it.
Towards the end of my 30-day stint, I kept feeling this message bubble up inside of me. About love. I didn’t want to share it on a video because it felt too… personal. Spiritual. And too hard to explain.
And I was afraid.
Of being misunderstood. Of not being able to articulate what I really wanted to say. I was afraid of being judged and put into the category of New Age flake.
But I also knew that if it scared me, I had to do it. I had to do it for me.
So I did. And the response was amazing. Warm, loving, appreciative and very, very sweet.
I learned that the more you consistently put yourself out there and share YOU – what you think, feel, care about, know and believe – with the intention of connecting with others, you’ll get more comfortable doing so. It won’t intimidate you. In fact, it gets to be really fun.
But as you get more comfortable, you’ll want to share more of what you really think and feel. And there may come a time when doing so will scare you. It will feel too vulnerable or raw. Or not fully formed. You’ll be scared of being judged, misunderstood or rejected.
Do it anyway.
Be scared and share it any way. As long as your intention is to create a connection with others by sharing what’s true and meaningful to you, you’ll be golden. You can’t go wrong.
And you may be blown away by the love, support and cheers that come your way as a result.
If you’ve been feeling a bit invisible and silent on social media, challenge yourself. Create your own challenge or find one you can join. There’s always a visibility challenge going on somewhere online.
Whatever you choose, make sure it pushes your limits yet still feels good to you.
You could do a photo-a-day challenge on Instagram or Facebook (or both!) based around a certain theme. Like “Things That Make Me Happy” or “Look What I Saw Today.”
Or a video-a-week challenge, if you don’t want to do a video-a-day.
Or you could write a short blog post a day, like my crazy friend Brigitte, and share it on your favorite social media platforms.
Whatever you choose, just decide and do it.
Hey, why don’t you create your own challenge right now and declare it in the comments below? I’d love to hear what you have in mind. Or if you’re having trouble coming up with something, let’s brainstorm!