“No one likes to be sold to, but everyone loves to buy.”
One of my favorite marketing mentors used to repeat that phrase often.
While it may be true that people love to buy, no one likes being bullied into buying.
I’m not sure how long this has been going on, but there seems to be a gang of sales bullies (disguised as coaches, teachers and experts) who are using some pretty disgusting tactics in order to get people to buy.
Perhaps you’ll recognize this scenario.
In a moment of whimsy, curiosity or desire, you click on a Facebook ad, or opt-in to a free webinar or sign up for a free consultation with a coach or marketing expert.
You immediately receive an email or phone call from someone who recommends that you and she set up a time to talk. You think, oh, heck. Why not?
During your phone meeting with this person, she asks you a ton of questions. About your life, your work and your business. She wants to hear about your biggest challenges, frustrations and fears.
And you spill it. You tell her everything.
In fact, you can hardly keep the words from spewing out of your mouth. After all, your spouse is tired of hearing about it. And your friends, while they love you, don’t really “get” the whole entrepreneurial trip. But this stranger, she seems to understand.
Then, she asks you about your biggest hopes and dreams. What do you want more than anything right now? And how would your life change if you had it?
You pause for a moment. You feel your heart bounce lightly in your chest. Because you know your deepest desires run hand-in-hand with your most crippling fears and doubts. To express one unleashes the others.
But your new friend is right there with you, ready to listen and understand.
So, you let loose and tell her. You share it all. And she assures you that your dreams and desires are not only important, they’re possible.
And she can help you make it happen.
She presents you with a program, product or service. And her offer sounds good. In fact, the way she describes it, it sounds amazing. Because by this time, you’re steeped in your longing for what you want and your fear that you’ll never get it, you’re eager to latch on to anything, anything, that promises you the opportunity to escape your current state of reality.
Then, you ask, how much is it? And you’re a bit taken aback when she tells you. It’s a lot. More than you anticipated.
You tell your new friend, “Gee, I’ll have to think about it.” Or maybe you say, “Wow, there’s no way I can afford that right now.”
And this is when your new friend becomes The Sales Bully.
She starts using your own words against you.
“But you just told me that what you want most is a full practice of clients you love, who pay your top fees. You said that would give you the confidence to keep going. And it would allow your husband to relax a bit and trust that your business isn’t some money-sucking black hole. So, why aren’t you willing to let yourself have what you say you want?”
Then, she starts poking in those places where it hurts the most. In fact, she has a whole selection of quips and questions designed to poke at your pain, undermine your confidence and make you feel destined for failure unless you say yes to her offer.
“I’m starting to think that this need of yours to think about it is just another way for you stay stuck where you are.”
“Well, you say you’ve tried programs like this before and they didn’t work for you. Well, let me ask you, what is the common denominator in all those scenarios?” (translation: It’s you, you loser!)
“You know, the Universe answers your requests with opportunities. Here’s your opportunity, and you’re refusing it.”
“Listen, I’m not arguing with you. You say you can’t, and I know you believe that’s true. That’s the reality you’ve created and decided to accept for yourself. (translation: What a loser!)
Excuse me, but this isn’t sales. It’s abuse. Because the Sales Bully violates your trust and uses your own deeply-held dreams, desires and fears to manipulate and intimidate you into buying.
What kind of insanity gives someone the right to insinuate they know what’s best for you after talking to you for all of 20 minutes? And how cataclysmically arrogant, deluded and fascistic can a person be to imply that they have THE answer, the one and only opportunity you have to get what you need to realize your dreams and goals?
And how dare they try to make you feel flawed, less evolved or attached to your misery if you say, “You know, I really can’t afford that right now.”
It’s. Just. Wrong.
And, it’s stupid. Because it kills any chance of a future sale or ongoing relationship. Who in their right mind would ever consider getting back in touch with this person, much less investing in anything she has to offer?
So, the abuse stops here.
Do this.
If find yourself in a sales conversations, and you start sinking, collapsing, or feeling uncomfortable in any way, chances are good you’ve got a professional Sales Bully on the line.
Here’s a little script you can use:
“Hey, you know, pardon me for interrupting, but this doesn’t feel right to me somehow. I can’t really put my finger on it in this moment, but I do know I need to get off the phone. Maybe I can give you a call back later.” (Or maybe not).
Or…. you can just hang up. Really. Just. hang. up. You don’t have to have good manners when you’re being abused by a Sales Bully.
And remember, there will always be opportunities for you to get exactly what you need to move closer and closer to your dreams and goals. Go with those opportunities that feel good to you, that honor and respect who you are and where you are on your path.