Tell me, which of the two paragraphs below do you like best?
#1
“Your copy will be more evocative if you address your client directly by using the pronoun “you.” Don’t use some distant, collective pronoun, like “we” or “one.” Your message should feel as if it were written to one person – the person who’s reading it at the time.
Or…
#2
“When writing copy, it’s best to address your client directly by using the pronoun “you.” Don’t use some distant, collective pronoun like “we” or “one.” Write a message that feels as if it were written to one person – the person who’s reading it at the time.”
So, what do you think?
Can you feel the difference?
While the essence of the message is the same in both examples, the first one talks directly to YOU. The second one, well, it reads like a text book written by my high school history teacher.
The first example speaks directly to you and about you by using the pronoun “you” and its possessive relative, “your.” The second example doesn’t.
One of the most important words you can use in your copy is the word “you.” (tweet it, baby!)
When you speak directly to your client by addressing him or her as “you,” (not “we” or “one” or whatever), your copy is immediately more engaging, compelling and relevant to your client’s life experience.
This may seem obvious to you but you’d be surprised by how many messages I’ve edited that were written in an impersonal, text-booky kind of style.
For instance, I had a client who was fond of using the pronoun “we” instead of “you” because she felt it was less threatening and confrontational if her message focused on sensitive or embarrassing subjects, like being in debt, struggling with addiction, or binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy for 8 hours straight on Saturday.
Her copy would sometimes read like this:
“When we spend more than we make, when we attempt to soothe ourselves after a bad day with a big shopping spree that maxes out our credit cards and puts us deeper into debt, we set ourselves up for a steep fall into a dark pit of fear, despair and hopelessness.”
You can sense how the “we” is less accusatory in this case than using “you.” But can you also feel how it makes the message easier to ignore? It doesn’t have as much impact as it would if it addressed the reader directly. For instance:
“When you soothe yourself after a bad day with a big shopping spree that maxes out your credit cards and puts you deeper into debt, you set yourself up for a steep fall into a dark pit of fear, despair and hopelessness.”
So, be brave. Speak directly to your client about what’s up with him or her by using the pronoun “you.”
And don’t forget your headlines!
There’s nothing like the word “you” to grab someone’s attention. So, fill your headlines and subheads with the words “you” and “yours.” (Think, “hey, you!”) It can punch up the “attractor factor.”
For instance, let’s say you have a headline like:
“Discover 3 Secret Power Words That Convince People to Buy”
Intriguing. Okay. Not bad.
But this same message gets a kick in the pants when it’s written around the words you and your.
“Your Clients Will Never Say “No” When You Use These 3 Secret Power Words”
Better, right?
So, try it. Look over your copy and see what happens when you intentionally speak more directly to your client by using the personal pronoun “you.” You may find that just by sprinkling in a few more “you’s” and “your’s,” your copy becomes more compelling, creative and clear.
Hey, why not share some of your “before and after” results in the comments section below? Oh, come on! It’s all in fun. No judgment. Only playful experimentation. I’d love so see what you come up with.